Happiness and/or Success

For the travel-minded person like me, the terms "happiness" and/or "success" almost blur or appear ambiguous, especially when I am in a foreign land. To my surprise, I find it very challenging to say that, "I am happy," or "I feel success."

I challenge myself to define or redefine the meaning of happiness and/or success.

I have a roof over my head. I can pay the rent. I am relatively healthy. I am married to a very good person. I have a meaningful job (running an ESL program for low-income immigrants in DC). I have a good education. I am in well-functioning families (my Thai and American ones). I have good friends. I enjoy a rich world of literacy. I drink strong, good cups of coffee! I go out and bike in the forest. I have vacation days that I can take off to do anything or go anywhere that I would like to. I live with hope, strong faith and big dreams. I am introverted and reflective. I am conscious of doing good thing(s) in the world. I am proud of who I am. I.......

Yet, I am not confident when I say, "I am happy," or," I feel successful." I must be crazy or naive. Maybe I am immature in this process?

What does happiness mean? Where is success? How do you know that this is "happiness?" When do you feel that "success" is here?

For a travel-minded person, the answers to all of those quests is part of the pursuit of happiness and success. That is, I am bound to a still and quiet state of mind to really clear all of the confusion. I am waiting for the moment(s) when I can stop this wondering mind and start to glean the real definition of happiness and success in this unanswered journey.

For endless happiness and success, I have to suffer more.

TAN

Choices, Changes and Goals

I find myself hooked with these words - choices, changes and goals. I am trying to think of the reasons why they make my heart beat fast.

I have fond memories of the past and of making decisions in life, work, education, activities, places to travel, what to eat, which clothes to wear, what books to read and much more ... I have always had a similar pattern of decision-making no matter where I was, Bangkok or DC. I have remained selective and make choices consciously. Now, I have made the choice of being in DC with my husband and working with immigrants from around the world.

As I grew up, the decision-making process kept getting more complicated as the changing process became a prominent part (or influence) in my choices. That is, as I got older, my diet and exercise choices were always being carefully selected and screened. As I realized that life was precious, even sweet and short due to life's changes, I had to accept that change eventually leads to an expansion or limitation of choices. I am happy with this.

My goals have become examples of my change in choices. When I was young (younger than now), I always set or had goals in my life (personal and professional). But as I got older, I asked myself, "what will happen if I don't have goals? Can I live without having them? Will I still be the kind of person who I would like to be?"

With the appreciation of change, I am making a choice of not having goals for now.

I will enjoy living my life in America with a flexible sense of choice and change.

That is my goal.

TAN