Tough lesson

A tough lesson is a great lesson after quiet reflection.

I experienced the extreme coldness of winter for the first time in Burlington, Vermont, in October 2005. At that time, I was not only a fish in new water, moving from an extremely hot country to the cold season in New England, but a fish in cold water. I almost froze to death.

One dark evening, I walked from one shelter to another shelter (my workplaces), and all my five fingers on my right hand-side felt like they were about to fall off. My whole body was numb. The cold and breezy wind blew heavily, and I was wearing only a few shirts and a thin coat. I ran to Dunkin Donuts and soaked in the heat. In my mind, I screamed to myself, "Why am I here (in America)? Why didn't Ben (my husband) tell me what to wear? Why didn't he prepare me for this? Why do I have to work at night? Why and why??!"

There were no answers.

At any rate, I was too depressed to understand and accept the way things were. My adjustment was very difficult. I gradually developed an unhealthy attitude toward everything, even though that it is not my usual character and I did not want to be like that. I was a different person than who I perceived myself to be in Thailand.

When you are in the dark, it is really difficult to see the light. And at that point, I could not see it. I had to live through it, and reflect, before I could truly appreciate it.

An old Persian proverb that I learned later has this to say: "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."

Now, winter cannot scare me anymore. I have not suffered at all during my first winter in Washington DC. It is nothing compared to the Vermont winter. Still, my co-workers here complain about the cold. I must say that they don't know what "cold" really means.

I learned all of the necessary tricks to deal with the cold now. My body has developed a better response to the cold. For example, my skin doesn't become as chapped as it used to be that first winter. My attitude has improved as I have learned how to dress, drink, live, and breath properly.

I appreciate the toughest lesson and I believe that in every single fiber of toughness hides a single, gentle thread that shows us the greatness of life, of appreciation, and of the discovery of the bright stars. Thank you Vermont and your endless, beautiful snow.

This is what I believe.

TAN