Outside the Box?

Courage ... how much courage do you need in order to push your boundaries, to decide to do something that, you probably know, is not your "typical" favorite activity? It is not easy to choose what is not your "typical" choice.

For example, if I have to choose between going out for an Indian buffet or going out to see an horror movie., my choice is to fill my stomach with ethnic food of course, and not filling my wondering mind with more terrifying things. Who wants to have a nightmare tonight?

To my surprise, recently, I was testing myself to push my boundaries.

My husband wanted to see a Japanese monster movie, "Gojira"(Godzilla) at the Japanese Cultural Center. Gojira didnt' really capture my immediate attention. Gojira puzzled me. I kept thinking, "why does he like to see that kind of movie?" Gojira would never be my typical top choice of movie to watch.

I kept asking myself, "how much courage do I need to watch a monster movie with my husband, after a long day at work?" Well, I didn't really know. I would give myself a chance to watch Gojira. If worse came to worse, I could just sleep at the theater.

We arrvied at the Japanese Cultural Center in the early evening. I told my husband that I would give this a try. I would like to earn the feeling of, "doing something outside the box."

78 minutes passed by. The audience's laughter filled the theater. The 1950's special effects of the movie reminded me of the first time my dad took me to see, "King Kong," in the theater in Bangkok when I was around 10 years old. Gojira worked as a symbol of the impact of the atomic bomb. The young scientist in the movie who invented the oxygen destroyer capsule really impressed me with his idealism to save the world. The aftermath scenes after Gojira destroyed Tokyo was like a current scene in Iraq after America attacked.

All of the above imaginative visuals were not my typical outlet to appreciate this diverse world. However, I left the theater with a new found appreciation of thousands of exotic things.

Gojira and my courage worked so well tonight.

I was able to remove a monster out of my typical mind and concluded that in order to be or to feel atypical, you need to be able to "do things outside the box."

Good night, Gojira

TAN

Tough lesson

A tough lesson is a great lesson after quiet reflection.

I experienced the extreme coldness of winter for the first time in Burlington, Vermont, in October 2005. At that time, I was not only a fish in new water, moving from an extremely hot country to the cold season in New England, but a fish in cold water. I almost froze to death.

One dark evening, I walked from one shelter to another shelter (my workplaces), and all my five fingers on my right hand-side felt like they were about to fall off. My whole body was numb. The cold and breezy wind blew heavily, and I was wearing only a few shirts and a thin coat. I ran to Dunkin Donuts and soaked in the heat. In my mind, I screamed to myself, "Why am I here (in America)? Why didn't Ben (my husband) tell me what to wear? Why didn't he prepare me for this? Why do I have to work at night? Why and why??!"

There were no answers.

At any rate, I was too depressed to understand and accept the way things were. My adjustment was very difficult. I gradually developed an unhealthy attitude toward everything, even though that it is not my usual character and I did not want to be like that. I was a different person than who I perceived myself to be in Thailand.

When you are in the dark, it is really difficult to see the light. And at that point, I could not see it. I had to live through it, and reflect, before I could truly appreciate it.

An old Persian proverb that I learned later has this to say: "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."

Now, winter cannot scare me anymore. I have not suffered at all during my first winter in Washington DC. It is nothing compared to the Vermont winter. Still, my co-workers here complain about the cold. I must say that they don't know what "cold" really means.

I learned all of the necessary tricks to deal with the cold now. My body has developed a better response to the cold. For example, my skin doesn't become as chapped as it used to be that first winter. My attitude has improved as I have learned how to dress, drink, live, and breath properly.

I appreciate the toughest lesson and I believe that in every single fiber of toughness hides a single, gentle thread that shows us the greatness of life, of appreciation, and of the discovery of the bright stars. Thank you Vermont and your endless, beautiful snow.

This is what I believe.

TAN