People with Perceptions

On a late Friday afternoon this summer, I came to another conclusion (not new) that so many aspects in our lives are shaped by the people around us. To be specific, it doesn't mean that my thinking is influenced by other people's thinking, but that other people's opinions and thoughts provoke me to investigate the untapped section of my thinking.

For example, I read a blog from one of my American friends, who is a World Teach volunteer and serving in America Samoa in the South Pacific. She described in one of her blog entries that "the situation over there, like everything else on the island, is subject to change without notice..." Well, it is similar to Thailand. I am not at all surprised by the island perspective. I love that. However, I am surprised at myself that I have a reaction to that sentence now.

I'm not against that at all, but I do feel like I am an Islander in the big metro city.

As I observe my American life, I think "what would happen if things changed without notice." How would people react to that? Why cannot there be a different way of thinking, so that things will not necessary fall into traditional expectations? How much more time do we need to be informed and ready for change? How deep or silly will the discussion on the street be?

People, their thoughts, and their perceptions are stimulating to me. I grew up in a "change without notice!" zone (Thailand) but am now trying to live in a very systematic, rule-oriented world (USA). It is fun to juggle my own perceptions and find the right rhythm.

People and their perceptions excite me constantly.

TAN

Why do we travel?

I woke up on Sunday morning with the aforementioned question, "why do we travel?"

I dreamt of returning to Thailand and setting up a writer's center in my mom's hometown, Kalasin. The dream was sharp and the awakening from that prompted me to think of the human(and my own)journey.

I am yearning to go as far as I can in order to, finally, return to my (mom's) land to reconnect with my native roots, to reacquaint my soul with my childhood memories, to shred all of the toxic waste, to grow with clearer wisdom, to age with a much more refined spirit, to forgive myself and others, to give back to the land and people who I once belonged to, to live an engaging but simplistic life, to seek balance, to keep asking questions, and live my life twice.

When I was 22, I thought that traveling would be a path that would answer all of my questions. I was young and intrepid at that time. My thought was only partially right. Fourteen years after that, I have come to understand that my life journey generates more questions than giving me the answers I want to know. I never thought of that when I was young. I believed that the trip was a stage to help me form my inquisitive mind. Older now, and a bit wiser, I see the interesting paradox of travel.

In every journey, I travel with wonder and questions. I often end up with one or two answers at the end of each journey and also come up with several more questions.

That is why I travel.

TAN

Keep it Brief

Grief is deep. She is.
I found her yesterday.
Uninvited, unattended,
She brings pain.

Keep grief brief, really.
Her voice is truly powerful.
Her shape is sharp.
She offers tears, to my soul.

Grief is deep. With her twin,
I almost collapsed in her hands.
I was stunned, in silence.
She invites deep pain, beautifully.

Keep grief brief. Yes.
She brought the water to my eyes, both eyes.
She had a painful dialogue with me, briefly
I rebreathed as she left.

Keep grief brief.

TAN